Need parenting advice

[jamielynn]

Hi Everyone,

I have a 3.5-year-old daughter who is going through some major behavior problems.  I'd like to call it the "terrible three's" since she never went through the "terrible two's".    

She is usually perfect at home, but as soon as we get into public she will start running in front of people, acting up and just whine, hit, scream and yell for basically no reason at all (and she knows it is wrong because she will apologize as soon as we get out to the car).  She will throw the biggest tantrum I have ever seen when I try to correct her by picking her up or trying to hold her hand.  She is actually way worse for her father than she is for me (I think because he lets her get away with more). 

We don't really look like we are in control at this point.  How did you overcome these issues with your own child(ren)? 

[Yasmine]

I don't know if anything changed in your daughter's behavior.
I have myself one very difficult tree years old child. She is hyperactive, always asking for one or another thing, never giving up till she got it and than lousing her interest completely, ask for another.Keeps me busy all the time.
Psychologists say that a parent should ignore that behavior, or turn the attention of the child to a someting else.If you try you'll see that it works...just sometimes.
With my child, if I pretend that I'm crying, she shows some sensitivity. I know, that's emotional blackmail, but kids should know that their actions are not without consequences.
I guess each child has his own way to be treated. We can just give some ideas to each other. So, if you found some solution, just write

[snicks]

I put a positive spin on the terrible two's, etc. that became the Terrific Two's, Tantalizing Three's. I think it worked for me, that & consistency & discipline.

[MissScribe]

Maybe you could make your daughter more pro-active in the shopping trip?  Can you imagine being 3 years old again - did you love or hate shopping with your mom?!!  Supermarkets can be stressful places for adults never mind little people who have a limited attention span.

Consider making up a small, magnetic play board for her.  You might be able to buy these in a store or make one up yourself.  Use brightly colored pictures of say, bananas, apples, packets of cereal, or anything you know you daughter likes.  Give her the play board and allow her to select the items which are on the board.  Make it like a game.  Mommy gets to buy  a few things, then daughter gets to make her selection.  This process can be fine-tuned to however you want it, but the aim is to let your daughter join in and have fun with the shopping rather than feeling she just has to be there whilst you do what you have to do 

All it takes is patience and it's worth working on to avoid those stressful tantrums!